Transitioning Your Adult Child
Here is the kindest, wisest and most merciful action you can take towards your adult able-bodied children who are still living with you and getting free room and board: kick them out.
Really, people. Enough is enough.
The phenomenon of free-loading adult kids is so prevalent – Pew Research Center says that 33% of Americans aged 25-29 are living with their parents – that there are even coined names. In the United States they are called Boomerangs. The United Kingdom press call them KIPPERS, an acronym for “kids in parents’ pockets eroding retirement savings.” The Japanese are a bit unkinder; they call them “parasite singles.”
Hey, we understand your concern. It’s a tough world out there. But here’s the thing – if life is tough for your child at 25, think how much tougher it is going to be at 35 or 45 or 55 when your child has no work history, no savings, and no concept about how to economize. Or when, gasp, your child has to take care of his or her own children.
And, sorry to break it to you, someday you might be dead. Who will take care of your adult child then?
Nope, it is time for your child to stand on his or her own. Here are some helpful hints on making the break.
Have A Talk With Your Child About Making The Transition
Be nice but firm.
Give your child a deadline to move out. Make it a definite date that is at least 31 days out, put it in writing, and give it to your child. That gives your child time to get a job and make other living arrangements. It also lays the groundwork for your last-ditch effort described below.
Immediately Shut Down Supports
Stop making your child’s meals, doing your child’s laundry, and cleaning his or her room. The time for your child to learn how to do all of that was 15 years ago and now.
If you want to be extra-nice and have the money for it, help your child shop for an apartment and pay the deposit and first month’s rent. Do not cosign for the apartment, guarantee the apartment lease, rent the apartment in your name, or choose an apartment that will be too expensive for your child to afford.
Giving An End-Date To Everything
Give your child an end-date for paying your child’s phone, car insurance, health insurance, gasoline, internet and Amazon account. If you have cosigned a car note, then the car may have to be sold to preserve your credit.
Help your child pack up his or her belongings. That means everything, including high school trophies, posters, and old clothes. What does not get packed should go into your attic as your personal keepsake, be donated or get tossed.
If move-out day comes and goes and your child is still in your house, then your last-ditch effort is to start eviction proceedings.
Once your child is out, make it stick. No returns.
All done? Congratulations! You have now raised an adult.