{"id":12139,"date":"2020-12-20T02:00:47","date_gmt":"2020-12-20T08:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/legaltalktexas.hammerle.com\/?p=12139"},"modified":"2025-06-18T17:11:34","modified_gmt":"2025-06-18T22:11:34","slug":"breaking-the-chains-of-christmas-past-a-gift-for-the-ages","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/legaltalk\/legal-talk\/breaking-the-chains-of-christmas-past-a-gift-for-the-ages\/","title":{"rendered":"Breaking the Chains of Christmas Past A Gift for the Ages"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If truth be told, most families harbor a lot more Marleys than they do Scrooges.\u00a0 It is not too late to cut the chains.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marley appeared in Dickens\u2019 \u201cA Christmas Carol\u201d as a ghost of Scrooge\u2019s deceased partner burdened with chains. Marley was the first to warn Scrooge that all was not well with his world when \u00a0 he gave an ominous explanation of his unusual garb:\u00a0 \u201cI wear the chain I forged in life,\u201d replied the Ghost. \u201cI made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it. Is its pattern strange to you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As quickly became apparent, the chain represented Marley\u2019s penchant to enrich himself by ignoring the plight of others. It took Scrooge all night to figure out that was a bad thing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We can be a bit quicker about it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For most of us, the chains are not composed of unfair business transactions; they are composed of our feelings about family members. The truth \u2013 whether the family member\u2019s action was unfair or ill meant \u2013 is irrelevant to our opinion of the action.\u00a0 We see and therefore we believe.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once we believe, we create another link of grievance. As the links build, it becomes almost impossible to shrug them off.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is the chain that makes it impossible to welcome a certain family member into our home, to send that person a Christmas card, to keep silent when the person\u2019s name is mentioned.\u00a0 It is the chain that makes family reunions impossible.\u00a0 It is the chain that causes family members to <a href=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/legaltalk\/wills-trusts-estate-planning\/how-to-manage-an-inheritance\/\">cut people out of inheritances<\/a>, to dispute <a href=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/legaltalk\/estate-planning-and-probate\/how-to-write-a-will-in-texas\/\">wills<\/a>, to challenge <a href=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/practice-areas\/estate-planning-probate\/estate-and-trust-litigation\/\">trusts<\/a> and to <a href=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/legaltalk\/family-law\/marriage\/4-common-mistakes-beneficiary-designations\/\">sue over beneficiary designations<\/a>. It is the chain that tears families apart.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is all so unnecessary.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now is the time of year to rip the chains apart.\u00a0 Shrug off the bad feelings. Categorize them and put them on a shelf if you must, but do not continue to lug them around. No one is strong enough to continue down the road carrying all of that unnecessary weight.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No one is saying that you have to go the other way by forging a new chain made up with links of fake feelings and naivety.\u00a0 That would be every bit as dangerous to you as the old chain.\u00a0 No one is saying that your family member\u2019s actions were just, deserved, honest or even sane. That would be silly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No, the point is that lugging that damn chain around is burdening only you.\u00a0 The more burdened you feel, the more you want to burden others with your feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you really think being a Marley is an endearing characteristic?\u00a0 It is not.\u00a0 No one wants Marley around during the holidays. A Marley chain ends up dragging everyone down.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So pull out a piece of paper, write down all of the grievances that you have against your family members, and then throw the paper in the fire.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Write a child back in your will, make a donation in a family member\u2019s name, send a Christmas card.\u00a0 Exult in your newly found freedom.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What a wondrous way to celebrate the season.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Virginia Hammerle is president of the Hammerle Morris Law Firm, <a href=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/\">www.hammerle.com<\/a>.\u00a0 She has been Board Certified in Civil Trial by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization for 25 years.\u00a0 Her practice includes <a href=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/practice-areas\/litigation-lawyers\/\">litigation<\/a> in all matters affecting seniors.\u00a0 She can be reached at <\/span><\/i><a href=\"mailto:legaltalk@hammerle.com\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">legaltalk@hammerle.com<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0 This column is for general information only and does not constitute legal advice.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If truth be told, most families harbor a lot more Marleys than they do Scrooges.\u00a0 It is not too late to cut the chains. Marley appeared in Dickens\u2019 \u201cA Christmas Carol\u201d as a ghost of Scrooge\u2019s deceased partner burdened with chains. Marley was the first to warn Scrooge that all was not well with his [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":12140,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[1098],"class_list":{"0":"post-12139","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-legal-talk","8":"tag-legal-talk"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Breaking the Chains of Christmas Past A Gift for the Ages | Hammerle<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If truth be told, most families harbor a lot more Marleys than they do Scrooges.\u00a0 It is not too late to cut the chains.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" 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