{"id":13028,"date":"2024-11-24T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2024-11-24T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/legaltalktexas.hammerle.com\/?p=13028"},"modified":"2025-06-18T12:10:34","modified_gmt":"2025-06-18T17:10:34","slug":"gathering-for-the-best-reasons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/legaltalk\/legal-talk\/gathering-for-the-best-reasons\/","title":{"rendered":"Thanks for the Family: Gathering for the Best of Reasons"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ah, Thanksgiving.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A federal holiday stemming from a proclamation President Abraham Lincoln issued on October 3, 1863, that set a precedent to observe the last Thursday of November next as an annual day of thanksgiving. In 1941 President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill officially marking the celebration for the fourth Thursday in November.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But enough history. Let us talk instead of something more practical: the opportunities presented by <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/legaltalk\/estate-planning\/hipaa-release-medical-information\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">family gatherings<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> at celebrations such as Thanksgiving.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Different Types of Families<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In my 40 years of practicing law, I have seen the best and the worst of families.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Communicative Family<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The best of families communicate often, avoid aggravating other family members, do not take offense easily, and celebrate other\u2019s successes. Family members make a conscious effort to see good instead of evil and chalk up awkward behavior to a bad day. They share, equally, the challenges of change. They may disagree, but they do not retaliate.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This type of family uses family gatherings to laugh, catch up on the news, reminisce, and continue family traditions.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Dysfunctional Family<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The dysfunctional families have one or more members who are egocentric. Those family members see themselves as victims, often feeling misunderstood and unappreciated. They want control without accountability. They shirk family duties and punish others with silence and dramatic behavior. They use family gatherings to judge, make barbed comments, take offense, and add to their long list of grievances. The primary emotions they feel are schadenfreude (a positive reaction to others\u2019 misfortune) and Freuden Schade (a negative reaction to others\u2019 good fortune).<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Family Dynamics and Caregiver Roles<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Family gatherings are just a microcosm of the entire family dynamic. Whether they happen at holidays, baptisms, weddings, or funerals, they are really just a blip in time. The family is not really put to the test until the patriarch or matriarch starts aging.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That is when the truth comes out. Who will step up to help when the three-hour celebratory event morphs into a decade-long <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/legaltalk\/adult-guardianship\/talking-to-your-aging-loved-ones-about-independence\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">caregiving role<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That is when the burden starts for their children, who already have busy lives of their own.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is easy for one child to take a parent to that first doctor\u2019s appointment. But when the first appointment leads to a second and third appointment, and then an outpatient procedure, and then supervising medicines and getting midnight calls about a fall, the time demands can become overwhelming.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Next comes cleaning out the house and moving a parent to a facility, confrontations about driving and scams, and maybe <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/legaltalk\/estate-planning\/dementia-in-the-real-world\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">dementia<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Who is going to help when a family member is in need?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The best of families can edge closer to the dysfunctional side when a parent starts aging and needs help.\u00a0 Is this slow slide into dysfunction inevitable? Of course not.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You just have to think \u201cThanksgiving.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remembering the Importance of Family<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rooted in tradition, enhanced by memory, defined by the present.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A family gathering provides the perfect opportunity for a family to reinforce values, love, and fellowship. It only requires participation. Yours.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Clear off your calendar. Attend the family gathering, and host if you want. Enjoy yourself. Use your phone to take pictures instead of sending texts. Play football. Help with food preparation and clean-up. Organize games. Talk. Congratulate each other for accomplishments. Create a family slogan. Sit at the kids\u2019 table. Listen to rambling stories. Tell one of your own. Plan the next gathering.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Help when you can \u2013 and you always can.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reinforce the<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/legaltalk\/estate-planning\/raising-your-future-agent-right\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> values<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that got you here, because those same values will take you into the future.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And give thanks for having this opportunity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hammerle Morris Law Firm Wishes You a Happy Thanksgiving<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/our-team\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">team of attorneys<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> would like to wish you a safe and happy Thanksgiving holiday. We hope it\u2019s spent with loved ones and your family enjoys quality time together.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Virginia Hammerle is an accredited estate planner and represents clients in estate planning, probate, guardianship, and contested litigation. She may be reached at <\/span><\/i><a href=\"mailto:legaltalktexas@hammerle.com\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">legaltalktexas@hammerle.com<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. This blog contains general information only and does not constitute legal advice.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ah, Thanksgiving.\u00a0\u00a0 A federal holiday stemming from a proclamation President Abraham Lincoln issued on October 3, 1863, that set a precedent to observe the last Thursday of November next as an annual day of thanksgiving. In 1941 President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill officially marking the celebration for the fourth Thursday in November. But [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":13029,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-13028","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-legal-talk"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Gathering for the Best of Reasons | Hammerle Morris Law Firm<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Discover the importance of family gatherings this Thanksgiving. 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Reinforce traditions, celebrate love, and embrace the values that bring you together.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/legaltalk\/legal-talk\/gathering-for-the-best-reasons\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Hammerle Morris Law Firm\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-11-24T12:00:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-06-18T17:10:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/hammerle.com\/legaltalk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/11\/11-24-Thanksgiving-101-Blog-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1707\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Virginia Hammerle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Virginia Hammerle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/legal-talk\\\/gathering-for-the-best-reasons\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/legal-talk\\\/gathering-for-the-best-reasons\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Virginia Hammerle\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3a35dce360aad1cd9da53574c3c1a6bd\"},\"headline\":\"Thanks for the Family: Gathering for the Best of Reasons\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-11-24T12:00:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-06-18T17:10:34+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/legal-talk\\\/gathering-for-the-best-reasons\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":683,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/legal-talk\\\/gathering-for-the-best-reasons\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/2\\\/2024\\\/11\\\/11-24-Thanksgiving-101-Blog-scaled.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Legal Talk\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/legal-talk\\\/gathering-for-the-best-reasons\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/legal-talk\\\/gathering-for-the-best-reasons\\\/\",\"name\":\"Gathering for the Best of Reasons | Hammerle Morris Law Firm\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/legal-talk\\\/gathering-for-the-best-reasons\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/legal-talk\\\/gathering-for-the-best-reasons\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/2\\\/2024\\\/11\\\/11-24-Thanksgiving-101-Blog-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-11-24T12:00:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-06-18T17:10:34+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/hammerle.com\\\/legaltalk\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3a35dce360aad1cd9da53574c3c1a6bd\"},\"description\":\"Discover the importance of family gatherings this Thanksgiving. 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